This month, I’ve been deeply troubled by noise from upstairs neighbors - heavy and sometimes sharp footsteps constantly coming from above. Whether at six or seven in the morning or midnight, you never know when that unique “noise” will suddenly appear, greatly reducing sleep quality. Already sensitive to sound, I’m becoming increasingly so, and am currently seeking various solutions.
Recently, I’ve been reading Maugham’s The Painted Veil before bed. Though I thought it would take forever to finish, I completed it in just a few evenings. Maugham’s observation and portrayal of human nature is truly remarkable. I noted down some favorite passages about the world’s ugliness and how humans create beauty through art, life, and their creations, and about women’s perceptions of men’s love.
I’m actually more engrossed in The Neapolitan Novels. Although I’m only halfway through the first book, (I persisted and finished it on December 29th, and even dreamed about Lila and Lenu that night), I think this will be my book of the year. I love Ferrante’s portrayal of the studious Lenu, and the clever, brave Lila through Lenu’s eyes. I love their friendship of mutual pursuit, subtle competition, but ultimately care and love for each other.
My Brilliant Friend
My journey with The Neapolitan Novels began when I accidentally discovered the TV series My Brilliant Friend on Bilibili. At first, all the names blended together, and the Naples neighborhood where Lila and Lenu lived appeared desaturated and violent - I wasn’t sure what it was about. Though I almost gave up watching, after sorting out the relationships between characters, I became deeply engaged. It’s truly an excellent work, and I’ve become an enthusiastic advocate, recommending it to friends.
After finishing Season 3 of My Brilliant Friend, I discovered the original novel had long been in my WeChat Reading bookshelf, added after recommendations from podcasts or book bloggers, like many other unread books there. Honestly, the TV series is quite faithful to the plot. But Ferrante’s writing has a certain flowing power, with deep analysis of Lenu’s inner world, love for Lila, and occasional dark humor. She frequently mentions the dissolution of boundaries in her work. Each time I encounter this phrase, I find it somewhat difficult to comprehend. Looking through the comments section, I found someone who shared Zhang Yueran’s writing about this dissolution of boundaries, explaining Ferrante’s views on limitations, pressure, and disappearance as a form of refusal.
On December 24th, I changed my blog’s background to a still from My Brilliant Friend, finding it extremely satisfying.
Neither Lying Flat Nor Hustling Successfully
Nearly two months after leaving my job, I still haven’t decided what to do next. I’ve never been goal-oriented or good at planning. Usually, I follow the mindset of crossing bridges when I come to them, taking one step at a time, going wherever life takes me. Though I occasionally worry and feel anxious, walking on an unplanned path makes me curious about what will happen next, where fate will lead me, experiencing the push of destiny. After all, the unknown is truly fascinating. Two years ago, I never imagined I’d be in a city 2,000 kilometers from home; a year ago, I didn’t think I’d stick to a job for over a year and save some money. Back then, I was poor and lost. If there was any luck, it was in accepting reality and continuing to move forward.
The reality is that at night, seeing my savings gradually decrease, I question myself: “Where did all this money go, why does it disappear so quickly?” With these questions in mind, I started learning some skills on Coursera. I should learn skills that can earn money, allowing future me to lie flat longer - early retirement would be ideal, as working is so inhuman, better avoided if possible.
On the afternoon of December 27th, I reopened The Surrender Experiment, which I had previously read one-third of. Sometimes, reading books is also about timing. Michael Singer’s discussion of surrendering to life’s flow involves letting go of the self and letting things happen naturally. This seems similar to “going with the flow.”
The Market is Paradise on Earth
In the summer of 2021, while sharing an apartment with friends in Shijiazhuang, we wanted to cook hot pot together and went to a nearby market. How could a clean, bright, and orderly market not be paradise? Neatly arranged tomatoes, irresistible cilantro - a market where you can find almost anything. My fondness for markets comes from observing life. Here you can observe freely, selection requires observation and comparison. Sometimes when unable to distinguish good from bad, I observe other shoppers, their selection criteria, which stalls are busier, which have more variety, which have fresher produce - all requiring keen observation.
On the morning of the 27th, I cycled to the supermarket. Checking the weather forecast showing 19℃, I thought it wouldn’t be too cold, but the wind made it hard to keep my eyes open. I love observing everything in my visual range except people - the unnamed trees by the bus stop with leaves scattered yellow on the ground, bare branches shrinking. The pink flowers by the pedestrian bridge have lost their former lustre, becoming dim. In Shenzhen’s winter, only a few flowers and trees and unemployed me are hibernating. The tall, lush trees across the road constantly remind me of this fact.
The supermarket is already decorated for the New Year - red clothes, large posters hanging from the ceiling, festive music. In the blink of an eye, a year has passed, and these decorations suddenly remind me of when I first came here this year.
Beautiful and happy things always come from life itself. This is a deep realization this year. I often feel I’m suffering, unhappy, waiting for some day or year when my life will suddenly become happy and bright, living in the past while imagining the future, ignoring the present life, thinking things will be better later. My life should be composed of countless - the past was once , and the future will be later. So I just need to live well in the present.
Books, Films, and Audio
Some recently finished and current reads, movies, and articles
⭐Reading: Recent Reads
- The Surrender Experiment ✅
- My Brilliant Friend: Neapolitan Novels 1 ✅
- The Story of a New Name: Neapolitan Novels 2 🔋
📺Films & TV: Recent Watches
🎨Videos: YouTube/Bilibili
- 📚2 Hours Real-Time Study / Piano Music / Christmas Night in Tokyo Streets / Pomodoro (25+5) / STUDY WITH ME ✨
- VLOG｜NYC Daily Life/Last Week of Fall Semester/Christmas Preparation/Making Gingerbread House/Solo Cooking
- 【Yuuka Sagawa】Japanese Posture Master’s Exercises for Hunchback, Face Slimming, Shoulder & Neck
- How Social Media Affects Your Health
- How to Make Even the Most Ordinary Life Interesting
- Stop Using GPT! Claude 3.5 is the Strongest AI【Beginner Tutorial】
