Everything feels like it’s been put on fast-forward — it’s already the end of December. Everything that happened this year is starting to blur, as if coated in a layer of dust. Getting older and being addicted to fragmented information has left my brain rusty and locked up. Every now and then I have to knock on my skull and ask myself what year it is. Since my teens, I’ve been worrying about whether I’ll get Alzheimer’s someday. I used to occasionally write on my little WeChat public account, where I created a collection called “Memoirs of a Potential Alzheimer’s Patient,” recording things in that small corner from time to time, hoping I wouldn’t forget.

This year, work disrupted my life’s rhythm. I barely picked up a pen to record my life — what movies I watched, what books I read, what thoughts I had. I’ve even forgotten how to write certain characters; some take a long time to recall before I can put them on paper, and sometimes after thinking for ages, I still write them wrong. I can’t help but lament — how has my language ability deteriorated to this point? It’s alarming enough to frighten me. I can’t even write simple well-wishes on my own without searching online first. When your language ability becomes impoverished to a certain degree, there aren’t even feelings to speak of — you just become a hollow, numb person.

It was around September, I think, when I came across a YouTube creator named Reysu and his video about journaling. He introduced an all-in-one journaling method that doesn’t put too much pressure on someone like me who’s always starting things and never finishing them. I can start recording anytime without requiring myself to write every single day. So I bought a journal and started recording my daily life. In September, I only recorded a few days, leaving most pages blank; in October, I recorded most of the month, with a small part left blank; in November, I recorded every single day and also wrote diary entries; December has continued with every day recorded, still ongoing, with even more diary entries. Now I’ve developed the habit of frequently documenting my life, able to trace back what special things happened on any given day. It’s been a really nice experience, and I genuinely want to recommend it to everyone I know.

1. Eat Well, Sleep Well

After going through a terrible work environment, I was mentally drained. Though I’m always slow to realize things, I did meet some wonderful colleagues who became friends I could grab meals and watch movies with — I suppose that served as a proper ending to my short year of working.

After leaving, I started taking care of my health and seeing a Traditional Chinese Medicine doctor. I stayed at my older sister’s place for half a month and developed the habit of eating breakfast. I ate all three meals every day without missing a single one, and — here’s the thing about me, the “motion sickness disaster” — I actually stopped getting carsick! It turns out that many problems can be solved just by eating properly. My whole life, I’d been troubled by motion sickness. Every car ride made me so miserable I wished I could just vanish on the spot, which made me dread going out. It’s kind of amazing that such a headache-inducing problem was ultimately solved in the most humble way. I might still get carsick occasionally in the future, but — well, eat well!

A while back I went to see a TCM doctor and was diagnosed with “deficiency fatigue syndrome” (虚劳病), because I dream every night, can’t wake up properly, and need 9–10 hours of sleep to function. When I wake up, I’m always tired and have no energy. This month I started tracking my sleep in my journal. Apart from one or two nights when the heavy footsteps of the upstairs neighbor kept me awake, I’ve been sleeping over 8.5 hours every day — partly because winter has arrived, and partly because my body lacks qi and blood, leaving me with terribly low energy. So — sleep well, and don’t stay up late!

2. Nature Heals Everything

The park is far from where I live; every time I want to visit one, I need to take at least two subway transfers. One day midweek this week, I went to a large park for a walk. My park-visiting style is the most basic: just walking. I go wherever my feet take me, often with no sense of direction — just moving forward. I love the dappled light and shadow that tree leaves and sunlight weave together on walls or the ground — it’s enough to make me stop and look. This park might be because it sits on a plot of land in the city center, but there are very few bird species here. The birdsong I heard was sparse.

The park was full of people running and cycling, absorbed in their enjoyment. Later, I didn’t know where I’d walked to anymore, but I spotted two adorable, lively kittens — like two little “mountain kings”: a fearless tabby cat and a slightly skittish cow-patterned cat. I played with them for a bit, watching them dart around. In a cat’s world, what kind of existence would humans be?

Walking through a grove of trees, I happened to notice a tree that had withered from top to root. I was about to keep walking but turned back to look again. That dead tree — new sprouts had emerged from its branches, pushing through its dried-out body to produce green buds. The force of life is astonishingly powerful and resilient.

3. Books, Shows, and Music

Lately, all my time belongs to me, so I’ve had more time for movies and books.

✍ Reading: What I’ve Been Reading

📌 Watching: What I’ve Been Watching

🎨 Videos: YouTube/Bilibili

🎧 Podcasts: Xiaoyuzhou/Apple Podcasts